Normie's Bet
By Mark Kelly
The next time Normie picks me up I don't even notice at first. Maybe my mind
is still absorbed with some little turf war in the office. Perhaps I'm just
getting into the New York way of ignoring the existence of the service staff.
What triggers my recognition is that on arriving at the toll point he opens
his door again to pay the four dollars and collect his receipt. He still
hasn't got the window fixed.
This time we're heading out to Newark using the
Pulaski skyway and Normie starts telling me some things not many people know
about its construction. I show more interest when he points out Jersey
City's skyscape in the distance and starts in about the gastronomic adventure
he had there.
"I am just intending to have a quiet meal in a nice diner while waiting for a
late pickup," he says.
"I have never been in this place before, but it has
been recommended to me by a few of the drivers. They have especially
mentioned the sixteen ounce steak with all the trimmings as being worth my
attention."
"So I pitch up there at around eight o'clock, with four hours to
kill before my next job. The place is nothing fancy, even from the outside.
Inside it's still the 1920's, with dark wood panels, low ceilings and a fog
of cigar smoke coming from a card school in the corner. I'm trying to
remember whether any of Jersey City can be old enough for this place to be
for real."
"When I order the steak the proprietor draws my attention to the
sign on the wall which gives customers the chance of eating for free if they
manage to finish the twenty-four ounce steak with all the trimmings. This
sounds good to me, so I change my order."
"He looks at the size of me and
mentions that he's willing to place an additional twenty dollars against
twenty of mine to say that I won't make it to the end of the steak he has in
mind. Already I'm looking at a free meal, which always puts me in a good
mood, so I jump at the chance of making twenty dollars on the side."
"Anyway,
while the steak is off and cooking, the boss has words with the card school
and pretty soon they all want a slice of my wallet too. I call a halt when
four of these guys have signed up for twenty dollars a throw. Because, as I
say to them, their risk is only twenty dollars each and I now stand to lose a
hundred in the unlikely event of my not staying the course."
"You can imagine
the size of the steak when it arrives. It's an inch thick and hanging over
every side of a big oval dinner plate. Piled up on top is a very substantial
portion of fries with some other bits and pieces of gherkin, onion rings and
so on."
"So I call for the ketchup and a large soda and set about it. I'm not
the world's fastest eater, so the onlookers get bored and go back to their
game, just keeping enough of an eye on me to make sure I don't slip some
chunk of steak under the table."
"I've got three things on my side that they
don't know about."
"First, under any circumstances I've got a huge appetite
for a guy of my size. Second, I've been too busy so far today to grab
anything more than a coffee and donuts. Third, I've still got over three
hours before I need to be out of here and nobody said anything about a time
limit. I fool around with them one time, putting down my knife and fork and
doing a little heavy breathing."
"They all cheer up and crowd around, because
I've finished the fries but I'm only half way through the steak. What's the
matter with you all, I say, can't a guy take a rest? This is a bet, not a
race."
"When I pick up my knife and fork again, they go back to their table,
but I hear that now some of them are wanting to put money on the little guy
finishing after all and they are having trouble finding anyone to take the
other side."
"Of course I do finish, with a couple of hours to spare, and I am
certainly very happy to take in money from all sides. I earn more from this
meal than I later earn from my fare. The best part, however, is that while I
still have everyone's attention the proprietor starts to clear away the
things from the table."
"Excuse me, I say to him. Aren't you forgetting
something? A nice meal like this isn't complete without a dessert. Why
don't you let me take a look at the menu?"
We've been parked up at Newark for ten minutes by now. I wouldn't get out of
the car until I have heard the end of the story. And Normie hasn't been in a
hurry to finish.
The End
Copyright
2000
All rights reserved. All characters are fictitious in this story and no
reference is intended to any person living or otherwise.
|